There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just googled if crying burns calories
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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