Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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