Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
