That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
