dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
