8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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