no, he came in my armpit
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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