I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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