It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
