peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
