you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
