so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
