would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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