addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
