I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
