11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How's work?
Spinning.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
