On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
