okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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