Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
