It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The beer is more important than you right now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
