Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
