that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
