He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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