I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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