I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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