Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
