Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
