You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
