im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
