ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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