Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
