Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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