she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
