i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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