Nicole vs. Life
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Randomize
