oh god the rape fog is back!
I CAN MOONWALK!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
