matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
