"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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