i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
