I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
