you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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