Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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