I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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