he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
