I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
