Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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