He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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