Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
