I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
