he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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