I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
