I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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