you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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