that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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