Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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