I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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