She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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