Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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