HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
