in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
