I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she smelled like a LAN party
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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