just come out here and I will go home with you...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
