K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
