brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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