she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
