actually, I'm a sock model
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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