dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
