by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
